My Blogalog

One Year Later

2010-02-25T17:32:00.003Z

...Got a job :D

Probably gonna start a new blog soon, but it wont be here since itll be a totally different subject and style. Way less emotional too - how crineworthingly 'open' was all that? Like Id tell all now about how kuh-ray-zee the last year has been since I returned - going back to college, work, 'That Movie', *cough* pregnancies *cough* and going Ape ;-), to name a few.

Tut tut...some things are private, man.

Newho, cheers for reading.

Take Care,
Nick

Never Forgetting/Forever Searching...

2009-02-24T20:56:00.001Z

Im back.

After 13 Weeks and 1 day away, I once again flew the monumentally-boring journey back home.

There were a few things tempting me to leave towards the end, but ultimately it came down to homesickness. I really thought Id dealt with the homesick thoughts after the eighth week or so, but they all resurfaced in what became my last few days and I just didn't want to be there anymore.

I came to NZ with one goal in mind: to meet new people, try new things, and hopefully somewhere along the way stumble across a career direction. I may not have found that career inspiration, but I certainly had the time of my life looking.

Since leaving my last job in the UK, I had trouble deciding 100% on what I wanted to commit to and become passionate about, and hoped that maybe I would find 'it' by traveling outside the not-so-adventurous Midlands, and meeting a wider variety of people. And while I definitely met my fair share of interesting people, I never found that inspiration. Maybe if I had stayed a little longer, traveled a little further, things would have turned out a little different. I might not ever find my direction in life or work, but I swear I'll keep looking. For now I gotta find some work back home, and take things one step at a time.
So onto lighter stuff:

I wanted to surprise my Mom and Dad so I didn't say a word to anyone but Marc and Cress about coming home. After 36 hours of travel, and popping several sleeping pills which had the exact opposite effect, I stumbled up my parents driveway. Starving, I decided that my mums formerly inedible chips, suddenly became immensely appetizing. So I phoned her...

"Hi Mum, is only me. I was just thinking, Im really in the mood for some chips...could you stick some in the oven for me?"

She laughed - confused at my weird 'joke', before I suddenly opened the front door and stood infront of her in the hallway. In my 21.5 years on this Earth, I had never seen my mom completely gobsmacked, and literally speechless. As Patch bolted towards me and I made a huge fuss of her, my mum stood frozen before uttering 'Nick?!...' which caught my Dads ear and then he came out to see if he had heard right.

So after a few minutes of hugs and greets, and explaining what the hell I am doing there (and reassuring my mum 'Yes, I am real') my deaf dog Lucy in her forever-half-soaked way, returned to her bowl to scoff her face. Thankfully Patch didn't leave me alone all night - so at least one of them is loyal :)

From sleeping in the garden to battling bugs, from having my head brutally shaved to having my balls brutally checked, from dirty Te-Puke hostels to getting drugged in Taupo, from the British guys stealing my stuff to the German girls who were not shy to show me theirs *wink* - I have had the best few months of my life, that I will never forget. Im so grateful for the generosity from those in the UK before I left because without it I wouldn't have been able to experience half the things I have. Im especially grateful to Marc and Cress for putting me up/putting up with me - a favor I'll always return when I can. And Im really really grateful for my Mom and Dad for letting me move back in until I get a job - just when you thought I was long gone, I come stumbling back up the driveway late at night, demanding a plate of chips! I guess some things never change...

Forever wondering where the path leads,
Nick x

From New Zealand 2009

Shop Assistant

2009-02-09T01:02:00.006Z

After failing miserably to find work in Taupo, I came back to Napier, interviewed at a couple of places and now have a job at a supermarket. The moneys good and its only a two minute walk from my backpackers and minutes from the rest of the town centre. Im working from 7am till 3pm (plenty of overtime available aswell) so I still get to catch some good hours in the sun. Although it will take time adjusting to a 6am get-up!

My hostel is letting me work there to pay for my accommodation, so im saving quite a few bucks. Its just $105 a week (instead of the usual $210) and any extra work I do brings that down dramatically. So far Ive been scaling ladders to clean hard to reach areas, wiping dead bugs off the ceiling and tops of lampshades, and changing the emergency water supply. Have got to clean a BBQ grill and repair a bench later - so just general handyman jobs that pass the time and save more money. Its definitely worth doing the extra work because the hostel is right on the coast, with the beach on my doorstep, and the town and work a couple of minutes walk away.

My shop job involves climbing ladders and stacking shelves and lots and lots of heavy lifting - which is what Ive been after (because its so different to the office work).

Its the first job interview Ive ever been for while unshaven and dressed in a short-sleeve shirt(no tie), brown shorts and sandals - and actually got it! Good luck trying that in the UK! They employ a much more common-sense approach to things here. Suppose I would have looked stupid in a suit with the 33 degree weather...

Since Ive been living off rice, coca pops (with no milk), muesli bars, buns, and baked beans, Ive had very little outgoings (because I nearly run out of money) and if I carry on with the cheap basic food I'll be saving quite alot of cash every month. Once the summer has past, if I have enough cash I could look to going somewhere else for awhile (my visa allows me to leave and re-enter as much as I like)but we will see. Im in no rush to leave this job. Taupo was ruthless for job seekers. Twas mandatory that you had previous experience for coffee shop work and couldnt get a job at a bar unless you know someone who works there. It was so busy I think nobody was interested in investing time training anybody. Still, had some great weather there and it was always lively with plenty of stories to tell, like the time my drink got spiked...

So I was sharing my room with this Dutch guy, Frank. On what was supposed to be my last night in Taupo, me and Frank hit my favorite bar. Afterward, we were supposed to meet this girl I knew in a bar near my backpackers. So, quite drunk at this point, we went to the bar and I distinctively remember Frank saying he needed my help approaching some girls. Being the awesome (sidekick?) friend I was, I helped him on the approach with the easy-but-sleazy opener "Haaaaave, you met Frank??" and introduced him, left him to it - everyone was happy. Only, that's all I remember. Because unlike every other generic drunk story where 'everything was just a blur', I don't actually remember a thing after that. Just black. Oh I had a vivid dream I was being violently sick. Only when I woke up, the half of my bed nearest my head, was covered in sick (literally covered, not a little pool or dribble). As were my clothes. And the toilet. Realizing I was in no state to travel 2 hours on a stuffy coach through the mountains, I stumbled to the reception and held in some more sick just long enough to check in for another day.

Frank woke me up a few hours later (more sick followed) and when I asked him what the hell happened he just laughed, took my facebook details, and then checked out. This freaked me out a little as he is, till this day, the only person who knows what happened. Did I hook up with the girl I was meeting? Did we get it on? Or did things get disastrous and I threw up on her? Or on someone else? How the hell did I get up 3 flights of stairs in whatever state I ended up in?

I know I didn't drink a fraction of what I did on New Years Eve so it wasn't the booze. Given the sheer memory loss of it all I think its safe to assume my drink got spiked, but its unclear why. I had my passport on me (for ID), my phone and wallet - and woke up with them buried underneath my sick-soaked shorts, so I wasn't mugged. My butt didn't hurt, so I prefer to believe I wasnt involved with a few of Taupos more flamboyant crew. I suppose I may have aggravated a jealous boyfriend of someone during my set-up approach for Frank, and I did leave my beer unattended. Ill never know, and I survived it all just fine so I suppose the only lesson I learnt was to never leave your pint alone in Taupo. Or trust Frank the Dutchman.

And there was me thinking Taupo was dull compared to Wellington. Then there was the time two Swedish blondes broke into my room late at night just to ask if I wanted to party. After a few seconds pause (convinced this was either the beginning of a really good dream, or one very cruel set-up) they locked themselves in my bathroom before I could answer (which was obviously 'YES!'). Judging by the smattering of white powder they left behind on my toilet, I think its safe to assume they had a whole different party on their own.

Crazy times indeed.

Its the balls...

2009-01-22T05:07:00.013Z

Im in Taupo. As I was walking through town the other day, I realised Id been to Taupo every single time Id come to New Zealand. I suppose Im drawn to it everytime because theres so much to do. Thanks to the gi-nourmous lake and surrounding mountains, theres tons of water sports (lol), and loads of mountain adventures (they sure do love their hiking over here). Last time I was in Taupo I did the skydive (which I still dont shut up about), and so this time I might do a bungy jump, but I'll blog about that some other time if I do.

So as Taupo is one of the the biggest tourist hotspots in NZ, I thought Id have a look for work down here. It wont be a complete waste if theres no work going though - Taupo is always fun, all year round. The weather is largely unpredictable (it changed 6 times on Monday - rain, sun, rain, hot hot sun, coooooold, sun again) but it has been hot n humid the rest of the week. Its all so sudden aswell. If you suddenly notice a grey cloud, you have around 3 minutes till you get soaked from some heavy, near-horizontal rain. But then its all over in 5 mins and the sun comes out to cook everything again. So you can forget all about the UK way of 'dressing for the weather'.

I found this awesome little bit of beach earlier that was totally hidden. Notice how immensely proud I am:

As I sat down on the stone steps I felt the weird rumbling beneath me - and I wasn't in the need of a poo. Then I remembered that Lake Taupo rests above a rather large volcano. Thats still active. Bad times.

I went to the cinema the other day and found myself completely alone in a pitch black cinema. Guess they decided one person wasn't worth turning the lights, music, or movie on for. I shot a video - just capturing the fear etc, but it came out weird. Its 4 times faster with no sound, but it still shows how scared I was in the dark empty room in a creepy old building...

So I feel comfortable enough by now to share this little tale with you.

Recently, I did a routine check of the ol' 'nads after a shower and got all kinds of freaked out when I felt a lump. I couldn't be sure because they sure do like to slide about in there and Its not easy checking with just two hands - and lets not even mention the huge package I got, which kept blocking my view...

Since I would take no pleasure in asking Marc to "lend us a hand bro", I decided it was best leave it to the pro's to give 'em a thorough checking. And by Pro's I mean Doctor's, not Prostitutes. They are too expensive.

So my first day in Taupo I headed over to the Doc's and anxiously waited for some big burly dude to come out and inevitably crush them out of pure jealousy (Gods gift blah blah...you all know me and the usual spiel). But to my surprise a rather attractive MILF Dr appeared and informed me she is my Doc. "Good times".

So after explaining my situation she had me sit down and get the General out. She briefly left the room only to return with....a hot nurse! So here I am, having my manhood (although technically, no hood) get fondled by a beautiful woman while another watches and I realise this is the single best moment of my life....or less dramatically, at the very least, the best moment of my year, so far.

My jewels are fine - turns out I was feeling a tube or something....she googled a little diagram to see whats-what inside a nadsack. Regrettably I, at this point now completely comfortable around her, joked (in a semi-deadpan style): "So technically, you just searched for porn while at work...". She didn't even crack a smile.

I came away from the Docs thinking 3 things:

1) When the usual paranoia sets in after finding scary lumps, nothing gets you over the whole 'possible death' thing quicker than standing before two beautiful women with your junk out.

2) It is never funny to accuse a middle aged woman of searching for porn at work.

3) If she had to GOOGLE it when I asked 'So, what was it that I felt' then, like everyone else who does a Google search, she simply didn't know the answer. Hardly what you want from a Doc, when it concerns your pride and joy.

Brighter news: I moved to a new backpackers today - just your run of the mill average hostel, only I discovered something quite important was missing in the bathroom...

(excuse the shaky cam)

Forever searching,
Nick (with the perfectly fine Nad's)

Since Xmas....

2009-01-12T04:37:00.011Z

Where does the time go? The last 3 weeks since my last post, have, for no particular reason, gone by real quick. This will be another post with plenty of pics because not much of any interest has happened! Its all so laid-back and peaceful....sounds boring, but it isn't!

Christmas was great - had some damn fine food, nice presents and most of all, Marc 'came out' and sat high atop his throne. Note the pretty pink tiara.

Did a Maze made out of Maize, and realised Marc has absolutely no sense of direction. Got out eventually though (obviously).

Went on a huge bike ride and found this sign on a gate:

Had a really good New Years Eve - way more people turned up for our garden BBQ than we thought. I really don't remember getting that drunk...

I can only promise that in despite of this photo, nothing indecent was going on...

Loads more NYE photos can be found HERE.

When Marc and Cress went away for the weekend I got a little bored...

Fish Boy:

So bored I fell off my chair:

Trying out my new scooter:

Amongst all the frivolities though, I have applied for loads of work, signed up with a couple of agencies, completed computer skills tests, phone interviews etc. Have a picking job lined up for when they start in February, but will hopefully find some work with an agency before then. Its been made crystal clear to me now just how damn hard picking is, and the money is crap considering how much work is involved. Still, if its all thats going......

Did I mention that Charlie likes to party? He did a little dance...

...then got drunk and pigged out...

Will blog sooner next time,
Nick x

Goodbye Wellington...

2008-12-22T10:01:00.014Z

As Its nearly Christmas I have come back to Napier. I really enjoyed my time in the Capital, and it was during the flight back that I got thinking about some random 'Wellington' moments...

The museum of filth:

The recreation of the mystical-wish moment in the movie 'Big':

The sunburn/skin peeling:

The statue with the first ever 'party-on' hand gesture:

The awesome mumbling near-naked tramp:

The jugs (ahem...):

And of course, the 'wild' night we drunk tea, did puzzles and cut hair:

I already miss the lively city and its interesting characters, but Napier just feels like a more homely, healthy place to live. Maybe thats because I'm actually eating properly again (was living on cheap noodles and $7 large Dominoes pizza's!) or because in Napier, I'm yet to be woken up at 4am on the 7th floor of a rickety old building, by a "tiny" earthquake. Talk about laid back kiwi's....not remotely bothered that the entire city is directly above a fault line.

Seriously though, Its good to be back with family. Despite making many friends and having good times, It still somehow in a way, gets incredibly lonely in the city. I really do miss everyone in the UK even though its only been a month! I hadn't even seen some friends and family for years before I left but since then I've missed them loads! I'm sure I will settle once I have a bit more stability - I don't have any more travel plans over the summer as theres plenty of fruit-picking work in Napier, which hopefully should keep me occupied and help settle in.

I will post again soon, but until then..

The things we do when we are....oh, you were sober?!?!? Nutter.

2008-12-14T09:40:00.032Z

There's so much talk of how situations can get wildly out of control when intoxicated. Unfortunately there is no excuse for last nights events.
Picture the scene...

Its Saturday night, the biggest party night of the week in a city loaded with tourists, kiwis and even a few bratwurst-loving Germans. My fellow backpackers and I are in our room, having a party of our own. In true party animal style, we did not one, not two, but three - three! - crosswords. There were popular party-drug alternatives such as flavoured teas, some perusing of pizza menus, and plenty of serious debate over crossword answers. Oh It was wild - us four Brit's sure were painting the town red.

Then we got hardcore. As if the partying wasn't legendary enough, things were about to get kuh-ray-zee. While intoxicated on the immense excitement that filled the room, I finally decided that a haircut - or more specifically - a mohawk, was to be had. Joey the Jew was my volunteer - half insane, half crazy - she was perfect for the task. The following pictures tell the story of the brutal massacre that took place that fateful evening...

Would you trust this woman with your hair?

The hair pre-cut post-shower, no gel

Smiling to begin with

Not so happy

Checking it out

Taking control while the others laughed

Uh-oh

Awful

Being cruelly laughed at by Tania and Jonny

The weird animal tail-like Mo. We decided it needs trimming.

It was also decided to wet it. Thanks for the heads up.

Soaked

Nearly done

Looking good?

Covering it with the 'gay' hat, just in case

Checking it out

So after a wild night so far consisting of crosswords and herbal tea, I sat there soaking wet, with some of my hair in my mouth - fused into my chewing gum, with a dodgy mohawk and posed with a very important decision. What colour do we dye it?

So it may not have been a typically wild Saturday night in Wellington - hitting several clubs while blind drunk, but in all honesty it was a priceless laugh (even if it was at my expense) that will forever be etched in my mind. Thankyou Joey for successfully changing my toup'e-like mohawk and turning it into a pretty decent one - there was a gutting moment where we nearly had to shave it all off. And cheers Johnny and Tania for taking the pics and providing the brutal but hilarious honesty throughout. But I still firmly believe I don't look like neither Hale or Pace.

As for today, Joey helped bleach my hair and dye it. I would have gone for green but my backpack is green and as I cant afford a new one, I feared I would look like a lizard. So we went for Blue.

Bleached Mohawk

Back of Bleached Mo

Blue Mohawk

Courtesy of Joey/Jewy, whose hands have been 'semi-permanently' stained blue. Thankyou for the sacrifice :)

The most Punk I'll ever be...

So please, my dear friends and family alike, click 'post a comment' just below this entry and let me know what you think. Constructive and even the not-so-constructive criticism accepted.

Nick, or 'that guy with the mohawk' as I have become overnight in my hostel..

Turns out the journey hasn't quite begun yet afterall

2008-12-09T11:41:00.017Z

Te Puke was a let down. It's just a normal, quiet town, miles from anything interesting. But what really sucked was the hostel. Spook-ily they somehow know of this blog, and will read this at some point.

It was a dive. A filthy hole. Its basic, sure, and they were upfront about not trying to be flash - which is fine, only they probably should be because at least then they'd actually have something going for them. My hands and nails were black after half an hour, and I had only opened a few doors. All surfaces, bedding, and the showers were filthy, probably never cleaned. I'm no clean-freak, but I like to eat, wash and sleep in a hygienic place, that probably wont cause some kind of stomach fungi. So fine Hairy Berry, stick with your non-flash, low-key mentality, go for the whole rural-thing - but at least clean the fucking place once in a while. Ive honestly been in better piss-floored public toilets than your pathetic excuse of a gents bathroom. Your internet access system is either crap or rigged - and I suspect the latter given the low, scummy morals you have. Im a tech-geek - I know all about bandwidth, and how much I was actually using, compared to your dodgy monitor which was clearly just spewing out made up figures like a retarded 7 year old in a maths class. Id spoke to quite a few people overnight and I'd heard the word 'disgusting' thrown around several times when I asked what they thought of your place. But you are lucky they are going nowhere anytime soon - it seems all backpackers who come to Te Puke are broke and desperately seeking kiwi-picking work. But I assure you, not one person I spoke to would piss on the place even if it was on fire. You are a disgusting establishment and I sincerely hope a Health n Safety Inspector shuts your dirty, shithole 'home' down.

Anyway, with the rant over, heres a video I filmed from a bar in Te Puke, shortly after arriving...

And then a while later....

I spoke to the incredibly friendly barmaid about it all and she gave some great advice, along with Marc when I called him.

So after one rainy night, with a spider looming over my bed, I abandoned the place and grabbed the next flight back to Wellington. The barmaid even gave me a lift to the airport - a life saver given there were no taxis or buses at that time of day.

Its all good again, and I have no regrets because I know for sure that Te-Puke was not for me.

My view at night:

I have already applied for some work here in Wellington and will check around town tomorrow - the region is massive, with plenty of bar, restaurant and hospitality work.

Check out my manky sunburnt feet:

Less whiny-ness next time, I promise - Im happy again now im back in the city. :)

Nick

And so my journey (really) begins...

2008-12-07T06:01:00.008Z

Remember that ideal job I told you about - and how I blew my chances with the CV written from the School of Narcissism (the whole "Im awesome" thing, remember?) Well, thankfully they don't read their CV's.

I'm moving to Tauranga, which is twenty minutes from Mount Manganui (my favorite place ever). I'll be staying at the superbly-named hostel, Hairy Berry. They emailed back and accepted me, despite the Worlds Most Egotistical CV. They arrange all the local kiwi-picking jobs, and if you're staying there for the long haul, they prioritise you and get you into work pretty sharpish.

So all being well from Monday I'll be picking Kiwi's for $13 an hour and living out of my new backpack, which disappointingly, only holds a mere fraction of the clothes I've brought and bought. Still I have my 'gay' cowboy hat so Im all good. Its 'gay' because Marc says it is...which is just his excuse for not being able to pull off the cowboy look. But then, can I?....

I've already left Marc and Cress back in Napier, and flew to Wellington because Ive been craving to come back to the capital for years. If work falls through up in Tauranga, then I'll be flying back down here as theres a load of work for backpackers. The hostel I'm in is bloody amazing - cost me just £25 for two nights. I have an on-suite bathroom, access to a huge Sky TV, decent kitchen etc. I am sharing my dorm with two American guys who are geeky-cool and two girls from Wolverhampton! The nightlife is great in this city - but one major thing to get used to is that Kiwis all stop in each others houses drinking first, then head out around 11pm and party till 5-6am. A bit of a culture shock given my 7pm-booze O'clock habit. Was shattered y midnight, but I have plenty of time to adjust :)

I am actually fed up of the hot weather (typical whiny Brit). I am now completely sunburnt on my back, arms, hands, and thanks to the shape of my sandals, Im burnt just in the middle of my (slightly) hairy feet. So I have two huge brown patches, resembling a giant 4-inch, hairy mole. Not to mention my toenail was bright pink thanks to Cress' nail vanish rampage. Here's hoping Kiwi ladies don't have any foot fetish's or else Im screwed. Or not, as I suppose the case would be.

Currently, I'm in what appears to be a mans-man kind of pub, slurping on 'Macs Gold'. That sounds dirty in my head. Its not. There is no Mac. And Im not slurping on his Gold. Err anyway, if you see it, try it.

I've been watching a hobo lying in the gutter of a busy main road, waving his arms and shouting and laughing at drivers and pedestrians all day long. Hes insane, and completely naked bar some kind of ill-fitting thong, but he looks more than happy with himself. Probably because hes either been given, or just robbed someones iPod. Cant afford clothes, but the guy has an iPod. I love the 21st Century. Hell I shouldn't mock him - if my first two plans don't work out, I may actually become this guy....I already have an iPod and just a few clothes left.

Oh and on a side note, the bugs must have some kind of inter-insect union or something. I awoke the morning following my battle, and I felt a needle-stabbing pain in my arm, only to turn and find an ant gnawing on me. So I flicked it away only to find the same Ant biting me a minute later. So naturally, flicked him again. One minute later, same ant, same place. It was actually climbing back up the bed to bite me. So of course I crushed him (as I have accumulated much experience crushing bugs this week) I believe the ant was completely focused and dedicated on biting me...like he was on some kind of brainwashed terrorist mission. I have headed south to Wellington for now, but make no mistake - this is no retreat. I shall be back. With bug spray. RAARR! *Tribal growl*

...Anyway....

I have no idea what net access I'll have in Tauranga so future blogs/email responses may be scattered.

And finally, Charlie Dimmocks wishes you all a Merry Christmas. Even if its a little early.

*The author would like to state that no animals, homeless tramps, and only one insect was harmed during this blog.

Beware all bugs - stay away or else I'll go all Rambo on your ass. Again.

2008-12-02T05:47:00.015Z

I hate my tent. I know, I know, I kept harping on about how awesome it is, and in many ways, it still is. Hell, I never even showed you my uber-cool/geeky vintage Star Wars pillowcase....

But, not even my nerdy pillowcase could force a smile out of me today, for as soon as I woke up, the mood turned sour.

Staring at me from the inner layer of the tent was the huge silhouette of a sleeping cockroach. Armed with my massive torch, I figured I'd bash it repeatedly till it was no more. What I failed to figure was the manic mess created by crushed cockroaches. (Ive been drinking all nite as I type this and let me tell you, that was not an easy sentence to repeat! However my dear old English teacher would be proud of my use of alliteration, even if it is overkill. But I digress....) Nor did I count on the streaky green blood that would be left behind.

The sight from my pillow

The result of the assault

Close up of the evil insect who dared invade my space

So I finished my assassination and decided to go for breakfast as normal. Only little did I know, the battle with the bugs was not over....

As I got out my tent, I turned to zip the hatch and saw this golden beastie....

So, while still fired up from my previous hit, I decided to continue the killing spree...

With the creature still hiding out there somewhere (possibly in my tent) my rampage came to a close (I got hungry). Beware my little insect-enemies, this battle may be over for now, but the war has only just begun. And I suppose this makes me somewhat of an awesome veteran now. Hoo-rah!!!!

Forever hunting,
Captain Nick Awesome, Slayer of Cicada's {See-kay-da's} ;-)

"I generally kick ass!"...hmm, maybe Im not that awesome afterall

2008-11-29T09:15:00.001Z

So my tent really is awesome. Waking up to the roaring crickets and the tweeting birds is yet to get old. As a 'pom' its my role to over-dramatize the entire thing by saying something like "its like waking up in the jungle" - despite never actually going to a jungle. Well, its arguable that the paradise known as Lye could be compared to a jungle, but thats for different reasons.

I have a new mobile phone number, as my old one is now out of service. Anyone who wants to send an overpriced text can do so on +64210697469 (don't forget the '+')

I already have sunburn (I know, typical Brit), right on the back of my hands aswell. Still it could be worse, and be on the other side of my hands. Wouldn't be able to, erm, 'type' for a week or two. How gutted Id be...

Got a NZ bank account and an IRD number (think National Insurance No.) so Im all set n ready for work. Whether they are ready for me is a different question. *Fails to budge huge chip off shoulder*

Talking of which, I dropped a bollock - to put it nicely (That isn't a phrase out here just yet...) It started when I found the ideal job I've wanted in NZ - kiwi picking for a company in Tauranga, which happens to be one of my favourite places. To apply I had to send off my CV online. I also did this for several other similar, less-favourite jobs around Napier.

However the CV I was sending was not the complete version I thought, but instead a first draft that I'd started awhile ago in the UK. Now you would think this wouldn't be such a bad thing, it may be a little incomplete here and there but nothing major. Well unfortunately for me, you'd be wrong.

While summarizing my duties at the CSA I sensed the tone of my CV was a bit too...up my own arse, to put it not-so-nicely. So with a huff and a puff (no, not that kind Mr. Smarty-Pants), and bored of typing, I left the CV after typing something a humorous to only me. I later thought Id altered this little detail, but nay Id actually posted my CV all around town. Spot the bit where I got bored...

"In April, I was promoted to Executive Officer where I supervised the team and held several meetings, dealt with staff personal issues, blah blah blah and I generally kicked ass at everything - Im Awesome, employ me now."

So it goes without saying that upon discovering this, I screamed a few obscenities - and Im sure, looking back, that I invented a few aswell. Fortunately, I was alone in the house, but I can't confirm the neighbors didn't hear me. But its OK, I haven't spoke to them yet so they probably assumed the angry, vulgar English guy is Marc on a bad day.

Somehow, I dont think I'll be getting that ideal job just yet. Damn.

Well I have a new CV now - proofread it a dozen times, and it seems clean. Although knowing my luck, the words may be arranged in an unforeseen pattern that, when looked at from a distance could be seen as something else....

Well Marc and Cress' cat, Charley Dimmocks, has decided to hog my laptop now, so I should leave him be....

So long for now,

Nick

Let the blogging commence!

2008-11-26T05:42:00.001Z

I decided this would be a much easier way to keep in touch with everyone, otherwise I'd just be writing the same thing in a dozen different emails. But don't forget to email me and tell me what you're up-to.

So after leaving the 'rents at around 1pm Sunday 23rd (which was about as much fun as having crocodile clips stuck to my 'nad-sack!...or something else unpleasant) Me and And went to Heathrow(not Gatwick ;-) ) and proceeded to both get freaked out by the odd French couple who decided to leave a bag completely unattended next us in an overpriced cafe (before covering it with a coat and disappearing). We quickly got out of there just after we gave the heads-up to a couple of 'Londons finest' who had sat behind us,in view of said bag, the entire time and not paid a blind bit of notice. Great security guys, after all Heathrow is only the biggest airport in the UK...

After spending five hours in Departures (ogling the last few British girls I'll see for awhile) I finally began my first Air NZ flight, only to be surrounded by cockney tourists - probably the biggest oversight I had when I decided to go from London. Still 'twas worth it as eleven hours later I got to Hong Kong, which for me personally, was woman-heaven. I swear if it wasn't for the thought of seeing Marc, Cress n Jessye, I'd have stayed. Forever. Mum, Dad...don't be surprised if I bring back a Chinese wife lol....

I got to NZ Passport control/Immigration and I basically got through quicker than on a normal holiday visa. They didnt check any of my paperwork - just a casual 'How are ya mate?' and when I replied "I smell bad after 36 hours in the same clothes", I had the mere response of: "Ive smelt alot worse after being on planes, so no worries there mate". That was the entire conversation between me and the guy whose sole job is to authorise visa's and permit's to all non-residents. God bless this country. Helps that its shit hot, and only 11am aswell - considering it snowed in Birmingham when I left just two days ago.

Oh and Im certain Ive travelled with Cress's mum's twin sister/clone, the entire trip from London. And I saw Gordons clone in Auckland aswell. Maybe its just all Kiwi's looking the same to my ignorant foreign mind. Maybe. Maybe not.

The good thing about this journey is I havent temporarily lost my mind - which seemed to be the norm for me around the 18 hour mark of traveling. The bad thing is, its quite possible my mind was still lost after the last horrifically-long journey and thus I am actually still insane now, and oblivious to it. Hmm. Guess I'll never know. Muwhahahaaaa *crazy bond-villian laugh*

Erm anyway, I got here just fine. Despite having two pathetic-looking propellers, the domestic plane was a suprisingly smooth flight, even got the talking with a kiwi about some work Im looking into. But all in all, while just two flights is significantly better than four, its still a really really shit journey. Theres nothing remotely good about spending twelve hours on a plane, then doing it again, in the same 28 hours.

Everyone here is good - but honestly it simply doesn't feel like I ever left. Im finishing this post in my awesome tent, on my comfy inflatable bed - so its difficult to stay awake much longer. I left home 45 hours ago and all this feels like one really long day, full of goodbyes, hello's and annoying cockney's. Thats more than enough for now.

Be in touch.

Nick x